Tuesday, August 17, 2010

On Not Contemplating On A Bowl Of Fruit #2

and so this whole thing gets so obsessive
and silly almost developing a high school
mentality suppose without all the hurt and
pain and humiliation and suffering from the
safety and security of your computer
screen all for the sake of curiosity
maybe even trying to redeem
or get closure or insanely start
things up again looking up old
girlfriends just for the fun of it
or more accurate cause i got
nothing better to do with my
downtime or existence but to
check on the status of old girlfriends
while for example found this once vicious
bee-otch i used to go out with now works
for colgate-palmolive out in california with
a great big gleaming smile and two perfect
blond daughters hanging off her, looks exactly
like she did back then, only twenty years later
a bit more pale and pasty without the seductive
powers, some might even say more mature, beaten
and battered, a ghost of her former self, shrink-wrapped
laminated, not quite as good looking or attractive as i remember
but remember the manipulation and her girlfriends, how she made
breaking hearts, laughing and whispering, going back on her word
going back and forth playing with emotions and promises and thoughts
a rare and timeless art, complacent and nonchalant, art of ridicule that
broke all rules and bore absolutely no resemblance, borders, boundaries
to basic human rights and decency, then when they become these mothers
with their new and improved souls and roles, suddenly all of a sudden all
holy and sacred, prim and proper, pimps for prophet, vixens of virtue
upstanding citizens of the community, yet if you only really knew
the things they pulled in their past, how they took advantage
took minds, hearts, and souls for hostage (matter of fact
took the whole damn body and anatomy) interesting
how things don't actually seem to change a whole hell
of a lot, disproportionately proportionate to unfortunate
character and behavior, see-through and predictable
from the past to the present to the here and now
future, now the heads of boards and organizations
to preserve names and reputations (even bestowing
on each other awards and citations) whole resumes and
grocery lists of anacronyms, how exclusive still feels a bit
absurd and abusive, how life just seems to get a bit phonier
without the humor, riddles without build-ups to the punchline
or passionate implication of innuendoes and rumors, survival
of the fittest, the life cycle, growth and development (men still a bunch
of suckers and idiots) of the very emotional and whimsical female gender.

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