1. A Time More Innocent
when they seemed to just take you hostage on a runway somewhere in the vicinity of north africa
with the names of countries you never heard of and the worst that you could say was that they just
put a nice scare into you as this terrorist showed a scared people peeking and poking their heads
from the portholes of planes and hollering such outrageous claims like--"i told you i didn't want any
sauce on my souvlaki!" okay maybe not but it all just seemed so histrionic and symbolic and vague
almost like some passion play or scene from pacino's dog day afternoon and road runner explosions
and threats and ultimatums that never ever seemed to come to fruition and then the eyewitness
action-news team would show up with their exclusive round the clock coverage on the standoff
of a bunch of panicky palestians just trying to take off on foot across the runway like some
lame loosey-goosey game of ringo leevio and the worst was that it just proved to be a bit
inconvenient like some pink panther version starring the irrepressible peter sellers playing
himself and vice versa and the dictators looked like a bunch of big handsome sleazy macho
gigolos in shiny polyester shirts maybe with the sunglasses and hairy chest and disco afros
like they were getting ready to party and get coked up at studio 54 and try to score with all
the girls in a time when things just seemed more innocent and more to hope and dream of
henry kissinger showing up...
2. The New & Improved Actions & Adventures Of Jesse James
i mean isn't it all so surreal or peculiar and odd these days this guy who goes by the name of jesse
james cheating on his blessed wife some say one of the sweetest and 'most well-liked actresses in america' fooling around with this cartoon character with blown-up bosoms and tattoos of swatzikas
he got for a steal in a response to an ad over his computer and now just freshly-divorced as though
he has paid his dues in court and been through the interview circuit of course oprah and katie couric
and confessed his sins and abused as a kid shedding crocodile tears over prime-time television now
appears all healed and absolved and forgiven and ready to move on as evidenced by the american
online headline "jesse james out with a reality star" i mean you know some people just got the life
3. The Source Of Satire
and it's all so funny but not really yet a little funny when you think about it as the war in iraq or "the battle
for baghdad" has taken on the exact same traits and characteristics as the "police-action" in vietnam and it all got started for the exact same false-alarm reasons with the supposed attack on the gulf of tonkin and domino theory and hussein's involvement in 9-11 and weapons of mass-destruction all proven in a parallel
comparison to never have happened and the french warned us to not get involved as had been fighting there for several years before as was the exact same case with the russians in afghanistan and their natives and citizens for good reason naturally fighting back and providing a good whipping for telling them how to run
their culture and country with an old ancient religious fanatical philosophy and history of fighting till the last man standing and then us absurdly claiming when we will be ready to withdraw and pull out and have their troops properly trained and country ready and stable in a better place deep-down inside knowing they're
in such a worse and more fucked-up place from everything we started like a bunch of missionary bullies
the only difference now we got more flags flying and not throwing eggs
and always trying to say the right thing and not showing anything on t.v.
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